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Blog post Love Nurture

Domestic Abuse – Forgive or Tolerate?


We just covered this topic in church and although there was a general zero tolerance to abuse, a lot of people were silent on the issue and one person wanted a wife to consider the impact on the children if a spouse were to leave.

I’m of the zero-tolerance camp, but then again if you both got into a fight and both smacked each other, is it abuse and will it happen again? What can you tolerate? Do you have to leave or should the abuser leave? It’s up to you, but everyone in abuse knows what to do, it’s the fear, isolation and embarrassment that they need to overcome.

There is a place for counselling and the law in cases of physical and psychological abuse. Also, I like to add no one should tolerate abuse, you should seek help. God gives strength to the weary – Isaiah 40 verse 29. So, pray for strength and get help!

The bible tells us in the book of John 8 verse 59 Jesus prevented harm to himself and Paul and some other disciples allowed themselves to be rescued (see Acts 5 verses 12 to 42), might you want to do the same too!

Also, how does staying in an abusive environment benefit the children? I have heard that it’s a vicious cycle that a good parent wouldn’t want their son or daughter repeating. The bible says in Proverbs 22 verse 3 that, “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences” New Living Translation (NLT).

Also, in Proverbs chapter 27 verse 12 it says, “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; but the simple pass on, and are punished” King James Version (KJV).

Note that the bible uses this simultaneously for males and females, as neither sex is exempt from being a victim or perpetrator. I must emphasise that taking action may not be easy, but it is certainly necessary.

So, in answer to the question, you must forgive as Jesus said, but according to the scriptural references above you must not tolerate abuse or be placed in danger. We must not also confuse forgiveness with tolerating abuse.

We have examples of people who have committed suicide, been maimed and murdered as examples. For anyone going through abuse act now and take appropriate legal action.

Do place your comments below and add scriptural references to back it up. Let us also know about yours or another person’s experience and what worked for you and them.

Take care and stay safe.

4 replies on “Domestic Abuse – Forgive or Tolerate?”

Thanks Joyce, i am proud to be your sister. Keep up the good work. The lord will perfect that which he started.

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